Once again, Temple of Sting has been scouring the globe to bring you stories about Sting. I can not vouch for the individuals who tell me these stories as to whether or not they are stretching the truth a bit. Judge for yourselves.

Max from Girlie Action: I went to a show at CBGB's (Lois and the Spinanes) with
Sting's son. Sting was in a car and was invited in, but said, "Too many memories in there." (Ed. note: Is Sting's son possibly an indie rocker?!?!??)

Max also thought he saw Sting on a train - it was a guy reading music. This is an unconfirmed sighting, since Max's friend thought it wasn't him. Max also swears that when he was a little kid he once Sting in Rockerfeller center and that Sting winked at him.
Max's mom thinks Sting is an anti-Semite.

Brian from Power Toot zine: One time, the entire waitstaff of the restaurant where Brian works thought that a customer was Sting. They were all bending over backwards to give "Sting" the V.I.P. treatment. Then they heard him speak, and he had an American accent, not a British one!
Moral of the story: beware of Sting imposters, and always treat Sting like the jerk he is.

Jess da mess (my sister): Jessica claims that Sting has had plastic surgery on his earlobes. However, I believe that she got the story confused, because I heard that other people have used Sting's earlobes as a model for their own earlobe surgery. No matter which story is true, Jess made a good point about the Stingmeister: "How can he be from the coolest place on earth and still be such a wanker?"

Anonymous Sting story: This source can not be revealed. He swears that the following story is true, and that he heard it from a record exec at Sting's label: Every year, Sting goes to Brazil and hires an entire team of prostitutes to have sex with him. His wife condones this because she can not tolerate having sex with Sting for twelve hours at a time. (Ed. note: I just heard that Sting played a benefit concert in Brazil. Coincidence?!!??)

Restaurant Sting story #2: A waiter in a popular New York restaurant, who must remain anonymous, said that Sting was once a regular in said restaurant. The waiter gave Sting money to get him tickets to the MTV Video Awards but Sting never produced the goods and has not shown his face in the place since.

Allison from Cold Cold Hearts: I used to work in a women's shelter and everyone there thought that "Every breath you take" was a total stalker song. (Ed. note: Obviously Sting is a psycho and a misogynist, and this song confirms that.)

Bob from the Orange Peels: In Mojo magazine, they were reporting that there's a big rumor that The Police are going to get back together. They werwe saying how someone's agent said that Sting and Andy Summers are talking and working out their differences and someone said it might happen. But the worst part about the report was that the actual members of the group were considering it themselves. They were not too happy that the Police were getting back together.

Elliott Smith: The first concert I ever went to was the Police. Sting is the Great White Dope.