"Famous? I was always famous. I was famous in my school, I was famous in my town. What is famous? It's all relative, you know."

- Sting 1991 in NME Rock Quotes 1977-1999

Submitted by Irene Lee, who knows Tae Kwon Do

Sting in the sack
Recently Sting took back some words that havebeen quite eye raising. Everyone has heard that he can reportedly go at it for hours, he once claimed seven. But know he admits that seven hours includes dinner and a movie. More prrof he should be sent to space - alone - forever.

Submitted by Jay Cox, who grew up in Philadelphia.

BOYCOTT THESE COMPANIES!
Compaq
I urge you to boycott Compaq computers (I just threw mine away - it was old and crappy, so I don't recommend you buy a Compaq anyway). Compaq is sponsoring Sting's upcoming tour. They are also sponsoring the development of Sting's "Brand New Day" official website and plan to feature Sting in all their print and tv ads through 2000. According to "Brandweek" this is costing Compaq SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS. According the The Wall Street Journal, it's more like TWENTY MILLION! How stupid. For $20M Compaq could give computers to schools for children in impoverished areas or something instead of giving it to Sting, who is already rich. If Sting REALLY cared about social issues, as he claims, he would suggest such a program to Compaq and refuse the money. But no, he's really a selfish bastard despite all his public proclomations of martyrdom.

The Martin Guitar Company
Apparently they manufactured two new Sting "signature special edition" basses - one classical and one acousitc. Are they crazy?!! Why would anyone want to encourage people to sound like, or act like, Sting in any way?

MORE STING NEWS...
More in the bizarre world of Sting-related news, I found this little tidbit on the "Stingchronicity" website:

"The tiny Pacific island of Palau,a scuba diving paradise, has featured Sting on a new postage stamp commemorating 'Prominent Conservationists and Environmentalists'. The stamp features artistic impressions of Sting's 'Nothing Like The Sun' cover shot, and one of him with Chief Raoni." Now, that's just bizarre. And wrong.

Sting's newest so-called album
Temple of Sting was able to obtain the following information about Sting's new album, including the title, release date, and track listing. Below is Temple of Sting's own unique interpretation of what each track might possibly be about (without ever having heard the album, because to sit through it would be unendurable torture.)

Album Title: Brand New Day
Release Date: 09/28/99

Track 1: A Thousand Years
This is how long Sting has plagued mankind... or at least it seems that way sometimes.
Track 2: Desert Rose
This is about how Sting is secretly destroying the environment, turning it into a giant desert. That rainforest stuff is a big coverup.
Track 3: Big Lie, Small World
Need I say anything on this one? Sting is a big liar, and he is trying to control the world, as if it were a small toy in his grasp!
Track 4: After The Rain Has Fallen
This is Sting's take on a post-apocolyptic world. He, of course, will be the one who brings doom to mankind.
Track 5: Perfect Love Gone Wrong
Perhaps this is about Sting's first wife, who he apparently left rather abruptly, while she was pregnant with his child. Or maybe Trudie is finally starting to see the light.
Track 6: Tomorrow We'll See
Another thinly veiled threat from Sting! This one is probably referring to the ever-increasing number of people who are against Sting and his ways.
Track 7: Fill Her Up
OK, this is obviously Sting bragging again about how great he is in bed (as if).
Track 8: Ghost Story
This is probably one of Sting's typical crappy pseudo-literary songs. He probably took some high-school level required reading, plagiarized it, and called it "high art".
Track 9: Brand New Day
Maybe Sting is trying to fool the masses by pretending he's changed, both musically and personally, and is making a brand new start. Well, a leopard doesn't change his spots. Sting is still evil and his music is still really bad.
Track 10: End Of The Game
Sting is clandestinely referring to his domination over world politics. As I have proven in past issues of Temple of Sting, all the leaders of all the countries in the world secretly report to Sting. Here he is making threats to some of the smaller countries that have tried to revolt.